Academic writing should be objective. If it is subjective or emotional, it will lose persuasiveness and may be regarded as relying on emotion rather than building a reasonable argument based on evidence. The language of academic writing should therefore be impersonal, and should not include personal pronouns, emotional language or informal speech.

The interactive tasks in this activity will teach how to avoid personal and emotional language in academic writing to make it more subjective and formal. It will deal first with elimination of personal pronouns, and then focus on removing emotive and other informal language.
Mini-lesson 1: Eliminating Personal Pronouns from Writing

Use of personal pronouns (I / my / our / us / etc) can make the tone of writing too subjective, and should be avoided.

Tip 1: Eliminate personal pronouns. In some cases, these pronouns may simply be eliminated. Compare the following:

Example 1:
With personaI pronoun (‘I’) I  believe modern technology should not replace traditional face-to-face classroom teaching.
Without personal pronoun (‘I’) Modern technology should not replace traditional face-to-face classroom teaching.
The second sentence above is less personal, more objective and more academic in tone. (It is also less wordy and more confident.) If your paper has your name on it, readers will know they are reading your thoughts and opinions, so writing "I think”, "I believe" or "in my opinion" is not necessary. Simply remove these expressions to make more objective, academic sentences.

Tip 2: Eliminate pronouns and make minor adjustments. In other cases, minor adjustments may be needed. Compare the following:

Example 2:

With personaI pronoun (‘I’) In this paper, I will argue against the proposition that surrogate motherhood is an acceptable practice.
Without personal pronoun (‘I’) This paper will argue against the proposition that surrogate motherhood is an acceptable practice.

Here, the writer has simply deleted ‘I’’ and replaced it with ‘This paper’, which is better, but may still not be the best approach. A more academic way would be to use the passive voice, as follows:

Example 3:
Without personal pronoun (‘I’)
(with passive voice)
It will be argued (in this paper/ below) that surrogate motherhood is an unacceptable practice.

Tip 3: Use passive voice. The passive voice allows the action rather than the ‘doer’ to be emphasized, making the sentence less personal. In this case, the ‘doer’ is obviously the writer of the paper, so it can be de-emphasized or eliminated from the sentence, making the stance less direct and more academic.

Academic writers should not refer to what they think, but to what the evidence suggests. In the following, the writer inappropriately refers directly to what he / she thinks or feels:

Example 4:
Inappropriate direct reference
to the writer’s opinion /
feelings / thoughts
From my understanding of the article, capital punishment may not be beneficial because it is inhumane. I feel that societies should provide a better solution to citizens than putting their criminals to death. My essay will demonstrate that capital punishment should be abolished and I will provide three supporting reasons.
A better, more academic approach  According to the article, capital punishment may not be beneficial because it is inhumane. It seems that societies should provide a better solution to citizens than putting their criminals to death. Below, it will be demonstrated that capital punishment should be abolished with three supporting reasons.

Tip 4: Relate your writing to the evidence, not to your thinking. Writing is much more persuasive when it relates to evidence, which is why the words and phrases in the chart below on the left are seldom used in academic writing compared to those in the chart on the right:

Avoid these pronouns / phrases in academic writing
I think…
I feel…
I believe…
I am convinced that…
I am sure that…
It is my belief that…
Use these words / phrases
in academic writing instead
The literature suggests (that)…
The results indicate (that)…
Considering the results,
According to the figures,
It is evident (that)…
The research indicates / suggests (that)…

Compare the following:

Example 5a:

My research suggests strong perceptions of the programme as delivering language improvement, friendship and increased world knowledge and I believe that it should be promoted more rigorously within the university. I am convinced that universities should consider participation in such schemes as a prerequisite for student exchange programmes, rather than relying wholly on criteria such as IELTS scores or other scholastic achievements.

Example 5b:

The research suggests strong perceptions of the programme as delivering language improvement, friendship and increased world knowledge and the results indicate that it should be promoted more rigorously within the university. It is evident that universities may consider participation in such schemes as a prerequisite for student exchange programmes, rather than relying wholly on criteria such as IELTS scores or other scholastic achievements.

Again, the first example inappropriately relates to what the writer thinks or feels rather than to his or her research findings. The second example is more objective and academic than the first as it discusses the writer’s research, not what he feels or thinks.

Tip 5: Do not address the reader as ‘you’.

Example 6:
With personal pronoun (‘you’) If you lose your health, you may not get it back again.
Without personal pronoun (‘you’) If people lose their health, they may not get it back again.
Passive voice version If health is lost, it may not return.

Using second-person pronouns such as ‘you’ or ‘your’ to address the reader is inappropriate and can make an essay read like an informal speech rather than a piece of academic writing. Although the words ‘people’, ‘they / their’ can be used to replace ‘you / your’, using passive voice, as in the example above, is often the best way to avoid using second-person as the ‘doer’ (you / people / they) can be omitted from the sentence and the action can emphasized instead. (It may also be less wordy!)

Click here to show Mini-lesson 2
Carefully read the instructions before completing each task below.




Task E, Using One-Word Alternatives to Phrasal Verbs

http://quizlet.com/30414837/using-academic-style-and-tone-in-writing-flash-cards/

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